


I Just Wanna See the Stars With You

by thrillerqueen



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF), Video Blogging & YouTube RPF
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Slight Hurt/Comfort, midnight ramblings from me lol, pretentious tfios quotes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-28
Updated: 2014-06-28
Packaged: 2018-02-06 15:27:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 832
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1862904
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thrillerqueen/pseuds/thrillerqueen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>dan's having an existential crisis. he just wants to see the stars with phil.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Just Wanna See the Stars With You

**Author's Note:**

> a/n: this was something i came up with and wrote 11pm on the night of the phan hug and i got inspired by the stars and wanted to try and drabble  
> this word vomit happened  
> featuring shameless tfios quotes  
> title from the ”the fault in our stars” by troye sivan
> 
> and yes this is in lower case for a reason

it’s 2:00 am. phil is listening to dan pace. it’s worrying because this is the worst it’s been. he’s had existential crisises before, by all means. but by now, dan usually would have crawled into bed with phil and curled up in his arms and finally let his exhausted brain rest, not waking up till late the next morning.

phil had known something had been wrong since that morning. dan had been quiet, shy and reserved. he had stared off into space while phil held a mostly one sided conversation with his profile. he had excused himself shortly after lunch and several hours later, phil found him lying face down in the hallway, ”the fault in our stars” lying open on the floor near him and his face tucked into the carpet. all classic signs of a crisis. he knew from experience there wasn’t much he could do except sit with dan while he murmured things like “what am i doing with my life?”.

he didn’t know what he was expecting to happen next, lying in bed at 2:13 and listening to his boyfriend pace, but it certainly wasn’t for the pacing to abruptly halt. phil frowned and sat up, listening intently for signs that dan was still alive and hadn’t somehow managed to hurt himself. then he hears footsteps again. good, he’s still alive. 

suddenly the door opens, the light from the hallway shining in harshly on phil’s eyes. it’s dan. he looks like he’s been crying. all he says is one sentence:

'i wanna see the stars with you.'

so despite the fact that it’s 2 am, phil has gotten dan into a thick jumper and they’re now at the top of the hill at their local park; it’s got little light pollution and better night sky visibility.

now they’re lying on the grass together. they’re both on their backs, staring up into the night sky. it’s beautiful tonight. the moon is out, large and fluorescent. the stars twinkle brightly in contrast to the dark shade of the sky absent of the sun. light clouds drift lazily across the moon, threatening to obscure it but not quite managing. insects chirp nearby and a cool breeze tickles the grass, making it shiver.

phil looks over at dan. his fringe is being blown slightly off his face by the breeze and his brown eyes are shining with the reflection of the stars. his long fingers intertwine with phil’s, slightly more tan than phil’s fingers. 

'the stars are beautiful', thinks phil, 'but not as beautiful as you.'

sometimes, just sitting and thinking makes you realise how insignificant you are. in the whole scope of the whole, undiscovered, infinitely expanding universe, you are less than a grain of sand. the earth, and the solar system, and everything humans know, is no more than a pebble as compared to the galaxies and nebulae and constellations that exist lifetimes away, but are the closest thing they can see.

because of the distance, we see things billions of years after they’re already gone. the stars? they’re already dead. exploded. billions of years ago.

human existence is an infinity with an infinity. everything we know is impossibly huge and expansive with no foreseeable end. but in the whole entire universe, the earth is no more than a pixel and humans no more than tiny, tiny insects on a pixel. the whole universe is bigger than we can ever comprehend and infinitely expanding. some infinities are bigger than other infinities.

it’s also good to have someone to ground you when you’re having those thoughts.

phil gently squeezes dan’s hand to let him know he’s here. he recieves a gentle squeeze in return.

dan moves closer to phil and places his head on his chest. he can hear his heartbeat, steady and reassuring. he joins their hands together again. phil’s hands are warm. phil’s chest is warm. phil, in general, is warm.

phil is solid, he’s real. he’s unfailingly always there when dan needs him, whether it’s to sit with him on top of a hill at 2 in the morning while he ponders the meaning of his existence or whether it’s to pass him the remote. phil is his rock.

overwhelmed with feelings, thoughts and affection, dan holds onto phil tight. phil uses his free hand to stroke dan’s back slowly.

'i'm so insignificant.' dan snuffles, goosebumps littering his skin because of phil's gentle touch.

'not to me.' replies phil softly.

'to me, you are my everything. half of my soul. you're the love of my life and i've never loved anyone more. i know that oblivion is inevitable and love is just a shout into the void, but i am in love with you.'

'you're the sunshine of my life. i love you to the ends of the earth.' says dan genuinely, eyes welling up. 

'and you are the moonlight of my life.'

and with that, they lie together in the grass until the sun rises.


End file.
